Longboat Key commission's 'humor' at meeting is inappropriate

"I think a .45 makes an excellent tranquilizer."

This is what passes for humor at a Longboat Key Town Commission meeting. This hilarious ditty was offered by yuckmeister Phil Younger, himself a commissioner. It was his response to another member's question, "What's wrong with tranquilizers?"

Then Jack Duncan, mayor and resident stand-up comic, jumped in: "Nothing. My wife uses one on me every night."

Pause for laughs, huh? Rimshot. Maybe applause.

Unfortunately, the tranquilizers mentioned will be shot at the few peacocks remaining in The Village. The town commission's contractor has been outsmarted by the birds, so Town Manager Dave Bullock wants tranquilizer darts to be used.

Hilarious, huh?

First, a few disgruntled Village residents complained about the birds. Now, we're gonna have a full-fledged peacock safari roaming the streets of Longboat Key.

It is to be expected. These are the same commissioners who laughed off the record 647 turtle hatchling disorientations on the Gulf. Florida Wildlife and Mote experts didn't move them. Neither did residents. They're big tough guys, see? They got tranquilizer darts in their pockets.

So. Whether peacock or turtle hatchling, watch yourself. You will find no friend in the Longboat Key Town Commission. Wildlife be damned.

Neighbors, bring your pets inside. Gators aren't the only predators.

Philip W. Hall

Longboat Key

This story was originally published April 29, 2016 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Longboat Key commission's 'humor' at meeting is inappropriate ."