Statue of Liberty is so yesterday!

It’s time for a makeover for the Statue of Liberty. The plaque at her base actually reads “Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.” That is so last century. She needs to reflect who we are now, not who we were.

First, ditch the plaque and replace it with “Do Not Enter, No Trespassing.” Actually, the president needs to commission a new statue. Appearance is important in this new world order. Since arms and movies are some of our major exports to the world, we could have a statue depicting beauty and strength. How about a model type figure, showing some skin (think superhero costume) draped with ammo belts crisscrossing her chest and holding an automatic weapon. This would reference our exports.

She could be heavily pregnant. This would remind the world that our women are not just alluring, but can bear babies as well as arms... and that we don’t need immigrants, we can breed our own more perfect race. (We have to work on that, it sounds trite, a bit last century). He should also eliminate the Ellis Island immigration museum with all the photos of poor people who helped build this country. So yesterday!

Instead, an architect could be found to make a building suitable for the new world order. Perhaps, it could be missile-shaped, or something else appropriately honoring our brave and strong males. Inside would be showcased our latest newly welcomed citizens. The walls would be illuminated with brightly lit logos of all the major national and multinational corporations upon which the Citizens United decision has conferred person-hood. The entry sign for this new building could also look to the future while referencing our American musical heritage by proclaiming: “If you’ve got the money, honey, I’ve got the time.”

Yes, it’s high time for Lady Liberty to reflect who we are now.

This story was originally published February 15, 2017 at 1:21 PM with the headline "Statue of Liberty is so yesterday!."