Rose Carlson: A book club for all seasons

I have belonged to one book group or another for well over 25 years, and I realize these groups served many purposes for me, depending on how my life was playing out at the time.

I think this is true for the other members as well. My first book group was comprised of moms whose children attended school together and we met one morning a month at 8:30, just after school dropoff. This one morning a month gave us time to exercise our brains with more than making grocery lists, planning play dates, and juggling careers with family.

As the kids got older, that book group faded away. But one day Sharon Hillstrom and I reminisced that we missed reading the monthly selections -- and, most of all, the enjoyable time with our girlfriends. I was a working executive at the time and missed that opportunity to connect and socialize outside of work. Sharon was a stay-at-home mom and missed the intellectual stimulation of our previous group.

So we started a new book group. (Our roles have now reversed and she is our community's Economic Development Corporation's president and CEO, and I'm retired.) We picked our members from our fun friends who enjoyed reading as much as we did, and we decided this group would be casually organized to fit our busy lifestyles.

Members were from all different walks of life -- some working women, some retired, some married and others not. We vowed our new book group would be fun and pressure-free. We called ourselves The Book Babes.

Members were not required to attend meetings regularly, nor even required to read the books. Meeting dates were set in advance, and the hostess of each meeting was responsible for selecting the book a month ahead, reminding everyone via email of the upcoming meeting, providing venue, coffee, and breakfast snacks, as well as sending a summary of the meeting afterward. No one person was "in charge."

Not long after we formed, member Connie

Wagner retitled us, with tongue in cheek, the "Bad Girls Book Club, where half the group doesn't read the book and the other half doesn't even show up."

So here we are, a dozen years later, and contrary to what some might have predicted, we remain a thriving book group. When analyzing our success, we agree that the diverse makeup of the group has encouraged us to read outside our usual genre, discovering selections we would never have picked on our own. Our discussions are fascinating as members bring perspectives based on our varied regional, educational and professional backgrounds. We gain new insight into ourselves and others, broadening our horizons.

As time has gone by, our friendships have grown and we have found other activities to enjoy. We have kayaked, visited museums, gone to theaters, and some even traveled to Europe together. We have raised money for worthy causes, and each December our group supports a favorite local charity.

We've evolved over the years, as some of the original group have moved away and new ones joined in. It's a testament to our connection that former members come back to meetings when they're visiting the area. Many have asked to stay on our distribution list so they can keep up with book selections and -- just as important if not more so -- with other members.

The monthly book selection now plays a secondary role in our group. We all love to read and have that in common, but we've discovered friendship to be the biggest reason to belong to our group.

We have learned much from one another, enduring hardships and life-changing events together. During challenging times, our meetings are a safe place to discuss our situations. Here we're free to share stories from our childhoods, about our jobs and our kids, about our spirituality or our doubts. Opinions are never challenged and are respected. Through the years, we've become fast friends and a strong support system for each other.

We all laugh at Connie's "Bad Girls Book Club" description, because we know reading the books and showing up at meetings is not the true purpose of our book group. What we value most are the close and lasting friendships. And someday when some of us can no longer drive and some can't see to read, I'm sure we'll stay connected through technology, listening to our books on Audible.com and skyping our monthly meetings.

Anything to stay in touch!

Rose Carlson, director of endowment for Saint Stephen's Episcopal School, can be reached at rrpcarlson@aol.com.

This story was originally published August 9, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Rose Carlson: A book club for all seasons ."