Becky Canesse: My horses teach me life's values as I teach them

Most everyone who knows me is aware that I grew up with horses. I used to compete extensively, but lately I have become more interested in the learning process. I enjoy the journey of starting and finishing a young, uneducated and untrusting "clean slate."

As prey animals, horses are more challenging than training dogs or other predators. They are highly sensitive and very reactive. I don't want to "break" them into submissive obedience, but prefer to establish a relationship with them based on trust, connection and true partnership. This requires patience, understanding and courage when working with anxious young horses. Underneath their fear and insecurity is tremendous loyalty and brilliance when you do it right.

While auditing a recent equestrian teaching clinic, the training professional noticed that his students were satisfied when they were able to teach their horses a new skill. But he wanted them to reach a higher standard than just having the horse know how to do what they wanted.

So he asked, "Does your horse know it well enough for you to go to war with him?" It's a powerful history of horses on the battlefield, considering the life-saving, high-level training that would be required to take a horse into battle.

That question took me back to when I was about 15 years old and faced a frightening situation with my horses. I was riding bareback on one horse and leading another horse along a steep rural road in the Black Hills of South Dakota. I had the reins in my left hand to guide the horse I was riding, and a lead rope in my right hand to keep the other horse with me.

This road led to a dead end at the top of the mountain where my horses stayed. There were only two homes along the winding road, so there wasn't really any traffic. Due to the curves, the homes were not visible to each other on this long and steep climb up the lonely mountain road.

Suddenly a car appeared behind me, loaded with young men I had never seen before. I sensed danger and my heart started racing. I began praying that my horses would respond instantly if needed.

I was riding beside the shoulder of the road, and the car slowed almost to a stop and crept along on the road just a few feet behind us. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but it sounded like they were making a plan.

Then I heard one say, "Now!" Suddenly the doors of the car flew open

and several guys jumped out and came rushing toward me.

Without hesitation, my legs squeezed the horse I was on, and my hand lifted the horse I was leading and both of them immediately and simultaneously took off into a full gallop. At that very moment, I looked up, and about 30 yards away stood the neighbor with a shotgun pointed in our direction and yelling out, "You men get back in that car and leave NOW!"

I could hear them speeding away while my horses and I raced up the mountain to safety.

My first reaction was shock at what had just happened, then gratitude for the neighbor's heroism and perfect timing. Finally, I marveled at both my horses' ability to simultaneously go from what felt like zero to 60 in one stride. They recognized the danger through my elevated heart rate and the intensity in my energy. The experience shook me up at the time, as I had a new awareness of what it feels like to be considered prey.

It just occurred to me that I had almost forgotten about this experience when the coach asked if our horses were trained well enough to go to war. Had he not asked that question, I probably wouldn't have ever given that experience another thought.

This is a good thing; it demonstrates resiliency. Knowing the world can be dangerous and some people want to hurt you for their own selfish reason is troubling, but discovering that there are good people all around you ready to stand up for you is a heartening realization.

The lesson in these life experiences is to focus on the positive, learn from and then forget about the negative, value your resiliency, and celebrate your ability to survive.

Becky Canesse, chief executive officer of Just for Girls, can be reached at beckycanesse@yahoo.com.

This story was originally published August 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Becky Canesse: My horses teach me life's values as I teach them ."