Mary Ruiz: The older we get, the more joys to be found in childhood

In just a few hours, chaos is going to reign once more in this house. We will demolish a table of food and then go outside with the squirt guns and bubble makers. Everyone is going to get wet, but especially the boys, ages almost 3 and 5. The last time they were here, they departed soaked, naked and wrapped in beach towels.

We had so much fun.

All of this fun must be an occasionally exhausting proposition for their parents. On that visit, mom and dad pulled out of our driveway with the kids and left the family fox terrier in his carrier next to our door.

This is why I think grandparenthood must be such a good proposition. It is a lot of the play, but not all of the work. One day, I hope to be a grandparent. If not, or until then, I intend to keep borrowing other people's grandkids.

There are other reasons I love the chaos. Nothing is more flattering than a toddler taking in your entire face and then breaking out in a delighted grin. Kids are so present in the moment, they pull you right into the sighting of the doodle bugs on the stone patio. No space is left unexplored for the wonder of it all, and the space does not have to be that big to fill the day.

I remember the adults of my childhood who accompanied me with their full attention in catching dragon flies or finding a quarter in a tea cup after losing a tooth. Their affection warms me long past my youth and steadies me in every age. As I look back on my own childhood, I have come to understand what a great privilege it is for an adult to hold a place in a child's memories.

My brother took the nephews fishing one summer and complained that he was so busy baiting hooks and untangling lines that he wasn't getting a chance to fish. My brother is a bachelor with no children, so I felt I had to prompt him.

"Uncle John, we are not here to fish. We are here to make memories."

The magic of childhood is harder to evoke once we enter adulthood. There are so many distractions like work, laundry, groceries, bills and car repairs. We forget how to be silly. We get tired. No one strokes our hair when we are cranky. We drive to work not noticing the sunrise and home again oblivious to the sunset. We don't give ourselves enough permission to play.

There is hope for us adults. We can grow old and become eligible to become good grandparents.

I find many downsides to aging, like the effect of gravity and more frequent visits to the doctor. I feel dumb and dumber when I forget names or words. But I am also finding that growing older has its secret compensations, and they are all in my head.

Each year, I feel more optimistic and less reactive. This helps me maintain calm in chaos. My brain might be rusty on the word recall, but it seems more prone to creativity and daydreaming for play. I am more open to the wonder of the world. When the real world intrudes, I seem to have a broader perspective and a better capacity to simply be present. I am thinking these might be excellent qualities to bring to someone else's childhood.

My grandmother was the first person to show me this possibility. She had a hard life. Her first child took polio as a toddler. She lost the next two to miscarriage. Her last child was only 10 when she widowed.

I remember my grandmother best when she was in her late 60s and early 70s during my childhood years. Grandma rose each morning humming and dancing a little jig.

We kids had so much fun going to her house.

Mary Ruiz, chief executive officer of Centerstone of Florida, a behavioral health hospital and outpatient practice, believes what the world needs now is more women in leadership. She can be reached at mary.ruiz@centerstoneflorida.org

This story was originally published July 25, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Mary Ruiz: The older we get, the more joys to be found in childhood ."