Ashley Brown: A kindergarten graduation brings some self-reckoning
We went to visit family in Chicago a couple weeks ago, and my grandson excitedly told me that he would be graduating from kindergarten in a couple of weeks.
What? Kindergarten graduation? Yep, a full-fledged graduation ceremony with caps and everything. After he went to bed, I talked with my stepdaughter and the rest of the grownups about this impending graduation. I'll admit I went to a dark place and accused the greeting card industry of creating yet another event in which we would need to purchase a card!
In my defense, just a week earlier I was shopping for a house warming card and found an actual card of congratulations on passing your driver's test. Really?! Do we need to send cards and gifts in recognition of passing a driving test?
Somewhere between cursing the greeting card industry and my thoughts on the trophy generation, and how by celebrating everything we actually diminish any sense of accomplishment, my younger stepdaughter (Aunt to the upcoming graduate) asked me if I didn't like children.
That question stopped me in my tracks, and I realized that perhaps I had crossed the line from making a point to unleashing a diatribe. I obviously had some really strong feelings about celebrating the end of kindergarten with a graduation ceremony.
If I were a normal person, I would have just let it go, but where is the fun in that? I really wanted to understand 1) why did this kindergarten graduation bother me so much, 2) is there value in the acknowledgement of making it through kindergarten? And 3) why must I over analyze everything (we may save No. 3 for another column!).
The first question was easy. I am a huge fan of personal responsibility and accountability. I believe we are all responsible for our successes, failures and happiness. If you make a mistake, own it and learn from it. If you have success, embrace it and share it. If you are looking for something or someone else to make you happy, you will be constantly be chasing happiness.
In my mind, over-celebrating is not only taking away expectations, it is diminishes that sense of accomplishment. And it sets a bad example for the future. Let's face it, we all aren't going to succeed at everything and we are going to have moments when we have to face failure. The lessons I have learned from mistakes are often more impactful and meaningful than the ones I breezed through with little to no effort.
The second question took a little longer for me to answer. Was I overre
acting? Was I being too harsh? Is there value in celebrating effort? Are celebrating these milestones helping build a stronger sense of self?
I can only say this. Our little man was so excited when the day of graduation was upon us. He proudly put on his graduation cap and joined his buddies in receiving his "diploma." For him, this was a true sense of accomplishment, purpose and excitement about graduating to the first grade.
Maybe in today's world, where the dropout rate is still hovering at 7 percent, we need to be encouraging our young people every step of the way. If that means we start graduation ceremonies in preschool, which happens, then so be it! But I think we need to balance the celebration of effort by instilling a sense of personal responsibility and accountability.
In case you were wondering, my grandson Noah was ADORABLE in his graduation cap -- and I even found the perfect card to celebrate the occasion!
Ashley Brown, executive director of the Women's Resource Center of Manatee, can be reached at 941-747-6797.
This story was originally published June 7, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Ashley Brown: A kindergarten graduation brings some self-reckoning ."