Dr. Kameron Partridge Hodgens: My brother's love taught me, 'Do what feels right'

I've always been a caretaker. I guess I've never really known life any other way. It's a role I was born into and one that I've continued to embrace in my adult professional life.

Nothing bothers me more than suffering, whether it's an animal or a human being. In my opinion, there's no need for that and, if I can ease someone's struggles, then sign me up!

The way I see it, life and its full enjoyment is within anyone's reach, regardless of their circumstances.

And trust me, I've seen the struggle of others, and I've seen them make the best of the situation -- even turn it around completely.

I'll start with my parents. Many of you reading this column likely know them, Bill and Debbie Partridge.

They moved from Demopolis, Ala., to sunny Sarasota in 1973 to begin their family and a promising career in law for my dad, courtesy of his late mentor and my godfather, Mr. G. Hunter Gibbons of Dickinson Gibbons. Life was good; the world was their oyster, their future bright.

Two years later, they were pregnant with their first child, a boy named Thad, whom shortly after delivery was diagnosed with Down syndrome, a crushing unexpected blow after an easy pregnancy.

And at age 25 in the mid-'70s, my mother asked the pediatrician, "You mean he's a Mongoloid?"

Of course, we would never use that term today, but my parents had never known anyone with Down syndrome, nor did they think it would ever be a part of their lives.

The pediatrician gave them two options: 1) institutionalize him, or 2) take him home and love him forever. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to this day that they chose Option No. 2, or how much I respect them for doing so.

In the face of fear, of worry, and of the mighty unknown, they chose to do what was right -- right by Thad, right by their morality, and right by their family. I definitely would not be who I am today if they had chosen the first option.

So who am I today? I am a daughter of two kind and generous parents, a younger sister to a brother with not only Down syn

drome but autism as well (yes, it can and does co-exist), a wife to a true "gentle" man, and a soon-to-be mother to a precious baby girl.

But at the end of day, what drives me the most is helping others. And it is this drive that has been the focus of my professional career.

Growing up with Thad, I learned that it was my duty to help those who cannot or may not be able to help themselves. During our early childhood days, I didn't really notice the difference between what he could and couldn't do. My family and I pushed him to learn adaptive skills such as personal care and fun skills such as swimming and T-ball.

Our childhood was idyllic. I always knew he was "different" from other kids but my family did not treat him as such.

It wasn't until I was in second grade that I was bullied by a fellow student in my class about my brother. This kid, whose name I remember to this day, had seen Thad at a school event a few days earlier. I had asked my mom to bring Thad. I was so proud of him, he was special to me, and I loved our relationship -- of course I wanted him to come!

But a few days later, my classmate awkwardly wrapped himself under his chair at his desk and said to me in a strained, encumbered voice, "Look! I'm Kameron's brother, I'm a retard!" Well, his plan to hurt me only made me more fiercely protective of Thad and further cemented my strong feelings to advocate on behalf of others so that those who appear differently abled are accepted. I was 8 years old.

Today, Thad happily lives with my parents and has a wonderful caretaker. He stays with me and my husband one night a week. We enjoy our time with him and he seems to enjoy the break from my parents! I am truly grateful to be living in my hometown, surrounded by family and friends, and knowing that at the end of the day, I am helping those who are most in need. Like option 2, it just feels right.

Dr. Kameron Partridge Hodgens, CEO of the Glasser Schoenbaum Human Services Center, can be reached at 941-365-4545 or khodgens@gs-humanservices.org.

This story was originally published April 5, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Dr. Kameron Partridge Hodgens: My brother's love taught me, 'Do what feels right' ."