There's plenty I wish I had known when I was younger

In a recent Facebook post, the singer Annie Lennox held a sign that read, "When I was younger, I wish I'd known " and she filled in " that what often seemed to be the end of the world, often turned out to be a positive and transformative experience."

It started me thinking: "What, if anything, would I want my younger self to know and conversely, I bet there are a few things the younger me would want the now (ahem) middle-aged me to remember."

So, like Annie Lennox, I believe what seems impossible at the time is often a positive, pivotal point in one's life. I might have saved myself quite a bit of angst had I known that. In my office I have a small artist's rendering of the Chinese symbol for chaos, which interestingly enough, is also the symbol for opportunity.

There are a few other things I'd want my younger self to know, like:

"You will discover talents you never knew you had." I wish I had known that, as time goes on, I would try new things and some of those things would lead to gloriously wonderful new experiences and new tastes and attitudes. While other of those experiences won't amount to anything other than good filler conversation at a cocktail party, "Oh yes, this is the blouse I wore when I tried skydiving." I'm kidding of course, because along the way I learned I'm not all that keen on heights.

I'd wish my younger self got the memo that she was beautiful. A friend and colleague brought in an ancient VCR tape of a TV talk show she and I did in the '80s about domestic violence. After I got over the initial shock of my very big hair, and even bigger shoulder pads, I was mesmerized by my flawless skin and bright optimistic blue eyes. I've never been particularly vain, but watching that tape, my heart swelled with a sense of pride in my younger self and the natural poise and confidence I saw on that small computer screen. It was followed with a tinge of sadness when I realized that young woman

didn't see herself the way her older self sees her today. It's too bad I didn't appreciate my uniqueness at the time. So: "Younger self, believe you are terrific just as you are; however, keep working on your rough edges and areas of ignorance and inexperience."

I'd wish I'd known to save more money, read more books and keep up with all the boring verb conjugation I had to learn when studying French, oui?

I would remind my younger self, that life is a journey, which means things will change. Even important things will change, sometimes shockingly. But it is, nevertheless, a good journey, and the best news is it really is worth every step. A medieval Christian mystic, Julian of Norwich, said, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." I believe she is right.

If you're a fan of "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel," Dev Patel's character, Sonny, said much the same thing: "Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right then it's not yet the end!"

The truth is I cannot tell my younger self anything. Just try your best to figure this all out, learn from your mistakes, apologize when you screw it up, forgive often and live so that someday you won't have to wish you could tell your younger self anything.

And as Judy Dench who played Evelyn in "Best Most Exotic Marigold Hotel," said, "Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected."

My older self, like Muriel, played by Maggie Smith, would reply: "Most things don't. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff."

Laurel A. Lynch, executive director of HOPE Family Services, can be reached at laurel.lynch@hopefamilyservice.org

This story was originally published March 29, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "There's plenty I wish I had known when I was younger ."