Rose Carlson: Holiday project 'Made with Love' holds 4 sisters' treasured recipes
My parents passed away a few years ago, just a year apart and both in their 90s. After years of being focused on their health and well-being, my three sisters and I suddenly found ourselves in new positions. We were now the older generation, and it fell to us to fill the vacuum left without having our parents to love and care for, to make sure the remaining family members stayed close and did not drift away into their own busy worlds.
My older sister suggested a recipe book as a bonding project, passing along our own favorite recipes and preserving some that came from our parents and grandparents.
Now that most of our children and some of our grandchildren are adults, they have reached the stage of their lives when the refrigerator and stove have purposes other than storing beer and making nacho dip. We told each other that this would be an ideal Christmas gift to them. But our unstated goal was to make a new focus for ourselves and strengthen family bonds.
It seemed like a straightforward, simple project. The plan was for each of us to contribute 25 or 30 recipes that were significant to us growing up or that came from our own kitchens. We were to provide photos of the dish or of the family member we were attributing the recipe to.
But we quickly encountered problems. What could we do if two of us submitted the same recipe? Who would get credit? Whose photo would we use? What if one of us contributed more recipes that the others, or fewer? What size should the book be? How many copies should we have printed? How should we divide the cost? And who would pay for extras if we wanted to share with our own friends or more distant family members?
I can't say it was easy, but we all rose to the occasion, set aside our egos, and sorted out our differences, with Mother's words echoing in our ears, "Be kind to your sister. Someday she'll be your best friend."
In the end, we set
tled large and small issues, and the book, entitled "Made With Love," was published. It is a masterpiece, not only because of the preservation of our heritage, but because each recipe has a story and brought back countless memories that the four of us took great delight in renewing together.
Some of the contributions to the book extended back over 60 years. For example, our grandmother Margaret Armstrong's Ice Box Cookies is from 1942, and our dear babysitter Georgie Congdon's Cranberry-Orange Relish Mold is from 1950. (I will make my umpteenth relish mold this week for Christmas dinner.) Fast forward to the next generation where we included special recipes from nanny Sara Bower, who helped raise six of our children. Other recipes came from aunts, uncles and distant cousins, and were complete with photos of those special people. We even included a yellowed magazine clipping our Grandma Armstrong had saved about how to make a perfect five-pointed star with one snip of the scissors. (Email me if you want to know how!)
The preface of the book features a picture of us in our ruffled aprons and a heartfelt message to our children and grandchildren. The last page is a photo of our parents with the dedication: "In loving memory of our parents, Paul and Mary Ridgdill, who taught us what love is all about, including the love of good food."
We gave a copy of the book to each of our children and grandchildren for Christmas. They tell us that they refer to the recipes on a regular basis and often bring some of those dishes to our holiday gatherings. It's nice to visit their homes and see copies of our cookbook in their kitchens.
As time goes by, traditions will change. But we know our family recipes will not be lost, because they are made with love. Maybe someday this project will come full circle and the younger generations will write a cookbook together and give it to their parents and grandparents for Christmas, or pass one on to their own children and grandchildren. We can only hope that they find as much pleasure in sharing family stories with one another as we did!
Rose Carlson, director of endowment for Saint Stephen's Episcopal School, can be reached at rrpcarlson@aol.com (we expect a lot of perfect stars around town this Christmas!).
COMING NEXT SUNDAY: Becky Canesse, CEO of Manatee County Girls Club, tells us the story behind the story of her mother's determination and her father's grace.
This story was originally published December 21, 2014 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Rose Carlson: Holiday project 'Made with Love' holds 4 sisters' treasured recipes ."