Babytalk | A father’s role is vital. Celebrate them all on Father’s Day
Happy Father’s Day to all of you fathers on June 20 and every day.
The child who will celebrate you on that day may share your DNA or you may be the man who stepped up when the child and the mother needed you.
Whether you are the biological father, an uncle, a grandfather, a man who has adopted, a brother, a cousin, or friend, you are huge in a child’s life.
Fathers bond with their child similarly to a mother, but there are differences. A father will bond in a more playful way than a mother. Males tend to use large muscle groups and women tend to use smaller muscle groups. Men like to throw balls and run while women tend to snuggle and cuddle. That can change over time as the relationship between parent and child evolves.
Fathers also bond by helping with daily tasks of taking care of a baby: changing diapers, bathing, rocking, and singing. All of these tasks ensure the baby’s growth and allow the mother time to heal and rest from pregnancy and childbirth.
Caring for a baby or child leads to bonding and attachment.
Bonding is a combination of meeting the physical needs of another person and laying the foundation for a relationship. Attachment is the relationship. This is one of the reasons babies tend to have “stranger anxiety” after 6 months of age. By then the baby has figured out who is most important to them for their survival. Attachment is also when you look forward to someone special being with you, finding comfort in their presence.
There are measurable results children experience when there is no father. Things happen in people’s lives affecting relationships. Not everything is in our control. The loss of any parent is immense on a child’s physical and mental health.
Fathers protect a child from harm. In the United States, having no father listed on the birth certificate increases the odds of infant mortality. A primary risk factor for child abuse or infanticide in our society is the presence of an unrelated male, usually a boyfriend, in the home with the child. When a father or a father figure is absent, the mother has to play both roles, which is exhausting.
Our country has seen a dramatic shift over the last few years in regard to a “traditional” family. The family of a father, mother, and baby or children in a loving, kind, emotionally supportive environment is ideal but not always a reality.
We don’t live in an ideal world. Sometimes we just do the best with the deck of cards we are dealt. We sometimes have to create our own “ideal” family with whatever resources, and people we are graced to know and love.
A father, whoever he is, takes his job seriously by teaching, mentoring, guiding and directing his children. You are very important in your child’s life.
May all the children in your life celebrate you on this special day we call Father’s Day.
Katie Powers, R.N., is a board-certified lactation consultant and perinatal educator at Manatee Memorial Hospital’s Family BirthPlace. Her column appears every other week in Healthy Living in the Bradenton Herald. Contact her at katie.powers@mmhhs.com.