Babytalk | Look for ways to make your stress your friend

In January 2020, I took a small box, made a hole in the top of it, and labeled it: My worry and prayer box. I put a small pad of paper and a pen beside the box. Throughout the year I have put my worries and prayer intentions in the box. This week I am going to open the box and read them. It will be interesting to see how many things I worried about that never happened. How many of my worries did come true and reflect on how I handled them. Then there are the prayers of supplication and intention. Were my prayers answered the way I wanted or did I accept what unfolded?. Will I be singing the old Rolling Stone song: “You don’t always get what you want, you get what you need?” Will I realize the wisdom in not getting what I wanted and have a moment to reflect on what I really needed?

It is going to be interesting for sure.

My father used to ask my mother, why did she always have to have something to worry about. I grew up thinking worrying was what mothers did. When I became a mother I understood why my mother worried. History repeats itself. In my work with mothers I hear their worries every day.

Interestingly I found a research paper by Preethi Kandhalu, published in the Berkeley Scientific Journal, stating girls are more prone to stress and worrying because of a variation in their genomes. Because of this variant genome, women produce higher and prolonged levels of cortisol in response to stressful stimuli. Women who have this particular genome also have an increased susceptibility to depression in response to stressful situations.

Being a new parent brings on worries most people had not thought about before they became parents. Did the baby get enough to eat? Is the baby’s poop the right color? Is the baby’s pee the right color? Why does my baby have red spots? Why does my baby have white spots? Is my baby sleeping enough? Why is my baby not sleeping enough? Why is my baby crying? Is the car seat in correctly? Is my baby warm enough? Is my baby cold? Did that stranger get too close to my baby?

What does all this worrying do to our minds and bodies? Our hearts race, our minds go on a merry- go- round, we become more susceptible to getting sick, we fear losing control of our lives and our minds, our digestive system goes bonkers, and we don’t feel well at all. Excessive worrying is not good for our health.

There is an old saying: When you change the way you look at things, things begin to change. The psychologist Kelly McGonigal in her TED talk “How to make stress your friend,” addressed how changing the way you look at stress can change the way your body physically reacts to stress. She recommends looking at stress worrying not as a time of anxiety, but as a time of becoming energized to meet the challenges you are facing. This will allow your blood vessels to relax rather than constrict, which is healthier for your heart.

So will my little experiment about writing down my worries and then reflect on them a year later help me to stop worrying? Only time will tell. I hope so. I also hope if I can curb my own anxious thoughts it will help me help others during their times of stress.

Katie Powers, R.N., is a board-certified lactation consultant and perinatal educator at Manatee Memorial Hospital’s Family BirthPlace. Her column appears every other week in Healthy Living in the Bradenton Herald. Contact her at katie.powers@mmhhs.com.