Babytalk | Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful. But it’s well worth the effort

Thanksgiving, our day of pause and reflect on being thankful, has come and gone. However our need to be thankful is ever present.

For some people, just getting to the point of being able to say thank you and finding joy is challenging. Life throws us challenges. Some we expect, some come out of nowhere. Some come across the globe and change how we live our lives every day in every way.

How do we find the strength to say “thank you” in our lives when all we can see for a time is misery, sadness difficulties, poverty, hunger, illness and unrelenting stress? To be honest, it is really hard, even for those of us who are optimists.

We know we live in a wonderful country and have many blessings. Many of us can be stressed by what has been labeled “first world” problems, like running out of toilet paper. Yes, it is sometimes hard to say “thank you.” This may sound like someone who is selfish, self- serving and narrow minded. To be honest, we have all been there at one time, for we are indeed human.

Many experts in human behavior suggest we project to others how we actually feel about ourselves. Studies of animal behavior frequently refer to when an animal is feeling vulnerable, the animal is more likely to be a target of consumption by other animals. Humans do the same. When one is feeling vulnerable and is consumed with anxiety it is challenging to feel thankful. One starts to feel as if everyone and every situation is contributing to your vulnerability.

If anyone reading this is experiencing this challenge. I want to share with you what has helped me. Daily prayer is No. 1. Personal reflection No. 2. Not long ago I realized when I was looking into a mirror, I found myself reminded of the phrase from “Sleeping Beauty”: mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? It made me laugh just thinking the thought. Then it dawned on me I can check myself in the mirror and ask: who are you today? I remind myself, I am strong, caring, compassionate and loved. On days when it is a challenge to remember these things, I make sure to work on reminding myself multiple times and say thank you for these gifts. Is it easy? No. But with persistence we can talk ourselves into being strong, grateful, kind, compassionate and thankful.

The parent is the child’s first teacher and most consistent teacher. If you are having problems with thankfulness find someone you can talk to for help. If you can’t find someone, start talking to your mirror and remember YOU can be who you really want to be. It takes time and persistence.

So before you put on your mask, be sure to ask yourself and mirror, too, for strength to be your best YOU.

If you are struggling this year, I wish for you strength to know it is OK to have to work at being thankful. Your children are watching and learning from your every action.

Katie Powers, R.N., is a board-certified lactation consultant and perinatal educator at Manatee Memorial Hospital’s Family BirthPlace. Her column appears every other week in Healthy Living in the Bradenton Herald. Contact her at katie.powers@mmhhs.com.