Politics a touchy subject at Thanksgiving? Take a lesson from this Florida beach town

Politics: the dreaded subject known to ruin an otherwise pleasant holiday meal with loved ones.

The often clichéd dinner time debate can be sparked in an instant. Within moments, partisan rhetoric, profanities and maybe even pies are flying back and forth across the table.

But this Thanksgiving, the residents of one Southwest Florida beach town are here to remind everyone that the discourse doesn’t have to turn ugly — now or ever.

In Longboat Key — a waterfront town of about 7,200 people that straddles coastal Manatee and Sarasota counties — members of two opposing political groups are on a journey to find a better way to coexist.

They belong to the Republican Club of Longboat Key and the Longboat Key Democratic Club. But through the new initiative, which they call “Miracle on the Key,” they’re finding they have more in common than they imagined.

“A lot of what it’s about is establishing trust and getting to know the human being, not the stereotype that’s in your head,” said Ed Sabol, president of the Democratic Club.

“Change is necessary if we’re going to secure America’s future,” says Scott Gray, president of the Republican Club. “So if we’re going to try to make change, what can we do at the local level to have conversations with our friends and neighbors?”

An underlying concern for both men is that the political divide in the U.S. has grown too wide and too bitter.

“To see the country being so divided and weakened is sad,” Sabol said.

“We want to have a country where we can embrace our differences,” Gray said.

The project started shortly after U.S. politics seemed to reach a new level of divisiveness with the events surrounding the 2020 presidential election and the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.

A pair of friends, Bob Gary of the Democratic Club and Bob Klosterman of the Republican Club, got to talking about the unfortunate state of affairs and what could be done about it, according to Sabol.

Determined to try, Gary and Klosterman approached the club presidents with the idea of opening up a conversation. In March, four representatives from each club came together for what would be the first of many talks.

There’s already been progress. According to Gray, members of both clubs have found that they can broadly agree on many issues, including the importance of truth, non-discrimination, a strong economy, equal opportunity in education, concern for the environment and support of law enforcement.

Personal responsibility was another commonly-held value, according to Sabol.

“I think the big thing is to listen, and to look for places where you can find common ground,” Sabol said.

And when common ground isn’t possible, understanding is important. Constituents of the two clubs will admit that they don’t see eye to eye on some topics or approaches to solving every problem. But that hasn’t stopped them from trying to see the other’s perspective.

“Don’t have false expectations. We’re not going to solve every issue,” Sabol said. “But we can have a better understanding of each other and where we stand. Of what our fears are and what our hopes are.”

“It’s led us to a position where we can at least understand our differences and talk about them openly,” Gray said.

Another commonality that has helped unite the Longboat Key residents, who are primarily senior retirees, is a desire to leave a better country for children, grandchildren and future generations.

“We all agree we want them to have a better world and a safer world,” Sabol said.

A trained mediator

Of course, the waters of political discourse don’t always make for smooth sailing.

That’s where Racelle Weiman comes in. A human conflict resolution specialist with a globe-spanning career, Weiman recently relocated to the Sarasota area, and she agreed to help. In addition to teaching tground rules of good listening and mutual respect, she also serves as a kind of mediator during the sessions.

Before the talks began, Weiman met with both groups separately to make sure they were ready to open up a dialogue. And to her delight, they were.

“This was really a wonderful opportunity, because both sides wanted to talk to each other, they just needed the tools and the framework,” Weiman said.

So far, the talks have been limited to four members from each group. They’ve occurred in various Longboat Key condos and included one-on-one conversations as well as group discussion.

“We dealt with our prejudices, we dealt our assumptions and fears,” Weiman said. “There were some hard, hard conversations and there still will be more.”

The long-term goal isn’t for people to agree on every issue, Weiman says, but rather for them to develop self-awareness, trust, empathy and a willingness to compromise.

“I don’t care if they like each other. I want them to respect each other,” Weiman said. “I don’t care that they accept each other’s point of view. I care that they’re willing to listen.”

That’s when compromise can begin to happen, according to the conflict scholar.

Now months into the experiment, the pioneers of the bipartisanship project are beginning to bring what they’ve learned back to the broader membership of their clubs.

Gray and other members of the Republican Club were guests at a November luncheon hosted by the Democratic Club. And the Republican Club is set to host Sabol and members of the Democratic Club for a dinner and a panel moderated by Weiman in December.

“In my opinion, it is resonating with folks,” Gray said. “We may have different approaches towards a solution, but at least we’re working towards a common solution.”

Tips on talking politics with Republicans, Democrats

In a joint statement issued this November, the clubs shared their method for political mediation and encouraged others to give it a try.

“Instead of fostering polarization and partisanship, let’s embrace our differences, work for consensus where we can, and show our elected leaders that civil conversation makes change possible,” the statement reads. “In the spirit of hope, we encourage our fellow citizens — as well as our elected representatives — to open constructive discussions with those whose viewpoints may differ from ours.”

Tips from the Longboat Key Democratic Club and the Republican Club of Longboat Key for bridging the political gap:

• Pick an issue. Examine your assumptions about those who don’t agree with you.
• Reach out to someone who is “on the other side of the aisle.” Chat. Listen.
• Consider where you get your facts. Read broadly and differently.
• Set an example. Stop someone who is speaking in a divisive or hateful way.
• Contact your elected officials. Tell them the polarization must end.

This story was originally published November 24, 2021 at 6:00 AM.