Four addicts are sharing their stories as part of anti-stigma campaign in Manatee County

For Jessica Zeilman, the loss of her marriage, custody of her daughter, her home and her entire identity was the low point she reached in her life when she realized she needed to get help for her drug addiction.

“I got to the point that I couldn’t die and didn’t know how to live,” Zeilman said. “Through God’s grace I’m still here, but that was the point when I realized, well neither one of those things was happening.”

So despite how hopeless it seemed after a decade of addiction and losing everything that mattered to her, Zeilman began her journey to recovery. Now, she hopes she can be one of those voices that provide hope for others facing the same struggles.

Four recovering addicts — including Jessica Zeilman — are sharing their stories as part of an effort to change the conversation about addiction and overdoses and to reduce stigma in Manatee County. Those stories are being featured in public service announcements released Wednesday as part of a media campaign by the Addiction Crisis Taskforce, made-up of the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office, Drug Free Manatee and Your Life Matters.

The series called “Now is the time. Your life matters” includes four 30-second public service announcements that will air as commercials and four longer versions.

Like the majority of people with opioid addictions, Zeilman, 35, first began taking pain medication for legitimate reasons. Prescribed pain medication after being hit by a drunk driver, she eventually became addicted to pills, heroin and cocaine.

“I knew I shouldn’t be doing that, but I just didn’t know how to cope with my emotions and the things that were going inside of me and I was too proud to admit that I had a problem,” Zeilman said. “I just really was at the point where I had to put my big girl boots on, put my makeup on and go out and face the day.”

Looking at the big picture and everything she had destroyed, made Zeilman question how she could ever fix it all.

But now she understands the hopelessness that she overcame and other addicts face. Addiction takes you to the point where you just give up — give up on yourself, give up on life and give up on hope that things can ever change, she explained.

Today Zeilman works and still lives at the Prodigal Daughters Recovery Home where she completed an 18-month residential rehabilitation program.

At a press conference for the launch of Addiction Crisis Taskforce’s anti-stigma campaign, Zeilman smiled graciously and was grateful for the opportunity to share her story.

“I am a strong believer that when God redeems you from something, then it’s your responsibility to give back to other people,” Zeilman said.

She wants to make sure others can see the light, and to believe that change is possible. Change did not mean regaining her previous identity and the life she had as an Army wife, but she did regain shared custody of her daughter.

“I really have a new identity and value in who I am. I value my life. I even value the pain I went through because I know it can help someone else,” Zeilman said. “Even though I am divorced now, I have hope for my future and for what God has planned for me and my daughter. I have a purpose in my life now.”

That purpose is to help others face addiction as she did.

“I love serving people and helping people because it was the very people in this community that came and loved me right where I was when I didn’t feel lovable,” she said.

Addressing those gathered for the launch of the campaign on Wednesday was state Sen. Darryl Rouson, D-St. Petersburg.

“Normally, when I am in a room of recovering addicts, I would begin by saying, ‘My name is Darryl and I am addict’ and the room would affirm me,” Rouson said. “They would say, ‘Welcome’ because they understand the struggle that I am not proud of every step of my journey but I can no longer afford to be embarrassed by it.”

So to feel at home, Rouson began over and introduced himself just that way, getting a welcome response.

“See, then I would take my coat off, and feel like I had been affirmed not for what I did that got me in the rooms of recovery, not for the mistakes I made in judgment along this journey or the things that I did in my conniving and scheming to get high, but celebrating the fact that I am here,” Rouson said.

In the wake of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland in which 17 people died, the Florida Legislature found money for the school safety act because the whole world was watching, the state senator said. But Floridians are still dying from addiction and overdoses.

“And who is watching?” Rouson said.

Now Rouson said he is visiting treatment centers and programs around the state, to bring back evidence-based strategies and in hopes of getting the additional funding needed.

“What you are doing is saving lives like mine, and that’s important to me and important to all our communities” Rouson said.