Investor Column | Let’s play 20 questions about investing in the stock market

You should know we take a chance when investing in the stock market. If only we knew what the future holds.

There are smart alecks who will be gladly tell you what you should have done, but not beforehand. The following is a cute list of some of their Answers to your Questions.

• Question 1: What is the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market?
• Answer 1: Start off with a big fortune. Your luck will take care of the rest.
• Question 2: Is there risk in the stock market? Could an investor actually lose money?
• Answer 2: Try breathing without inhaling. Inhaling and exhaling go together as do gain and loss.
• Question 3: Was Noah the most successful investor?
• Answer 3: He floated his boat, while everything around him went into liquidation. His ship did come in.
• Question 4: A stock is down in value. When will it get back to break even?
• Answer 4: It is amazing how hard it is to accept failure when you picked a stock and it went down. Hope springs eternal. However, you now have time to learn about the bankruptcy laws.
• Question 5: Should I invest for the long term?
• Answer 5: You probably have to because you lost so much in the short term.
• Question 6: Are all investors smart?
• Answer 6: Every time one investor sells, another one buys. They both think they are the smart one.
• Question 7: Where should I invest my money?
• Answer 7: The comedian W.C.Fields would recommend good booze.
• Question 8: What is a bull market?
• Answer 8: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
• Question 9: What is a bear market?
• Answer 9: About a 6-18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no respect.
• Question 10: Do you offer a discount to your services?
• Answer 10: Sure. But as Warren Buffet said: Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
• Question 11: What is an institutional investor?
• Answer 11: Similar to a rocket that fizzled but keeps reminding everyone how well it used to operate.
• Question 12: What is a profit?
• Answer 12: An archaic word no longer in use.
• Question 13: Do you sleep like a baby while invested in the markets?
• Answer 13: Yes I do. I wake up every hour crying and needing my bottle.
• Question 14: How may types of investors are there?
• Answer 14: It’s claimed to be three. 1: Those who don’t know anything. 2: Those who know a little. 3: Those who don’t realize they don’t know anything.
• Question 15: If I invest with you, a financial advisor, will I always make money?
• Answer 15: Of course you will. The advisor will guarantee it, being personally trained by Bernie Madoff.
• Question 16: How can I be a loser if the only stocks I own continue rising?
• Answer 16: That’s easy. Blame your financial advisor for the losing stocks that went down.
• Question 17: I made a fortune on that one stock. What’s so hard about investing and building a fortune?
• Answer 17: You forgot to mention the other 10 stocks that lost you your nest egg and fortune.
• Question 18: Some call the stock market a game?
• Answer 18: It’s a game because there are winners and losers. As for you, only time will tell.
• Question 19: What path should I follow for success?
• Answer 19: Be reasonable which is difficult. Invest in quality and not the hot stock of today. Use an investment consultant instead of trying to do this yourself.
• Question 20: Will it help if I buy all the books on investing?
• Answer 20: It will help the writers of the books become wealthy, but maybe not you.

Even with these critical answers, we persist in investing. Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

If you try to balance risk and return, you might luck out. Ask you financial planner to show you a balanced portfolio or strategy.

Turn it over to somebody who has a good record. Then keep your eye on it.

Try to smooth out your bumps in the road of life by paying attention and getting educated.

Jim Zientara is an investment consultant and financial planner with Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services are offered through Raymond James Financial Services Advisors, Inc. He can be reached at 941-750-6818 or at www.raymondjames.com/jz with office at 11009 Gatewood Drive, Suite 101, Lakewood Ranch 34211. Any opinions are those of Jim Zientara and not necessarily those of Raymond James. This material is being provided for information purposes only, and is not a complete description, nor is it specific investment advice. Consult a financial advisor about your unique situation. Raymond James Financial Services and its advisors do not provide advice on legal issues or tax matters

This story was originally published February 1, 2021 at 10:27 AM.