Focus on Manatee | Being nice to others is not always easy. Even for Mr. Rogers

Our connections with people weave bits of ourselves into the lives of others, with the possibility of lasting well beyond a single interaction.

This week, Hedda Sharapan, lifetime friend and colleague of Fred Rogers, is visiting Bradenton to talk about what we can still learn from him. We met over email through a common friend who grew up in Pittsburgh. Talking together about their lifetime work on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood has led me to reflect on small opportunities to live his timeless messages.

I hope we agree that we can have more trust between neighbors, more thoughtful dialogue with people who are different, and more acceptance that everyone has a right to their own feelings. It’s hard work because we are human.

Last week, I found myself in a situation where I might have used some friendly advice from Mister Rogers.

I had walked into a coffee shop and overheard a table of friends chatting. One was beginning a story. “No matter how bad you think you have it…” he started.

I was mentally finishing his sentence, thinking about how much I appreciate people who reflect on the difficulties others are facing and see their own lives in a new light. But as he completed his thought, I realized it was a joke about someone in the public eye who has caused some divisiveness. I surprised myself—first by being angry at my misjudgment and then being agitated at myself for feeling that way. It was a chance to think differently about my silent reaction, even in this small circumstance.

One of my takeaways in talking with Hedda Sharapan in advance of her visit is that Fred Rogers was not perfect. He was not a saint. He did not want to be considered one either. Like all of us, Fred sometimes struggled with anger. He had to work hard at being the nice person he was and was perceived to be.

I get to spend most of my time seeing the very best in people as they come to Manatee Community Foundation for philanthropic services. They look to us for guidance in making charitable giving happen in the way that works best for them and in a way that achieves the best result for the community. Many of them have become more self-reflective as they give and see the reality that others face in their daily lives.

Sometimes, mourning family members come to us to keep the memory of their loved ones alive forever.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Dan and Rebecca Powers. Their son Matthew was tragically killed in a car accident when he was only 15 years old. Matthew was the person who always made a seat at the cafeteria table for the student who needed a friend. He was well liked by his peers and teachers. Music and the band were his passions.

His parents created a scholarship fund at Manatee Community Foundation for students in the bands of Lakewood Ranch High School so that his memory will live on every year through the gift of education. For those in Matthew’s circle, his kindness will also live on. We can only imagine how it will continue to manifest in ripples throughout the lives of the many friends he nurtured.

What makes us remembered after we complete our time here? There are a million ways we can influence good things that happen in our community — it all starts one person at a time. One legacy we can leave behind is the choice to be empathetic and the choice to forgive ourselves when we could do better. Unlike other currency, we can only guess the full impact of what we are paying for in advance, but it’s good stuff.

I hope you can join me on Thursday, Jan. 30 to hear “What We Can Continue to Learn from Fred Rogers.” You will get to meet Hedda Sharapan, along with the amazing friend who connected us, Ruth Lando. We are thrilled to present this opportunity, because like so many of you, we know that building a community that works for everyone requires all kinds of people. The more we listen, acknowledge each other, and treat others as neighbors, the better we are positioned for greatness.

Visit www.ManateeCF.org to register.

Susie Bowie is executive of the Manatee Community Foundation in Bradenton.

This story was originally published January 24, 2020 at 11:41 AM with the headline "Focus on Manatee | Being nice to others is not always easy. Even for Mr. Rogers."