Baby Talk | Children enjoy many benefits from having a father in their lives

Taking classes before you have a baby helps in the adjustment of becoming a parent. Learning to become a good father is a complicated process. It takes time, energy, interest and responsibility. Most of all it takes loving your child.

We provide classes as do many hospitals, to help parents make the transition from being “Joe” and “Sally” to being “David’s” father and mother.

Fathers play a unique role in their child’s life. Research shows children who grow up with a father involved in their life tend to enjoy all kinds of benefits: better school performance, less trouble with the law, better careers and relationships with others. When a biological father is not involved, another male who loves the child will have a positive impact on the child’s life.

We learn primarily how to parent our children from our own parents. If your father was involved in your life as a child, you will tend to also be involved. We remember how our fathers interacted with us. We treasure the memories of his strong hug, his sense of humor, and how he administered punishment.

Sometimes the mere thought of how he would react to our misbehavior was enough to deter us from following through on things we knew we shouldn’t do. Fathers build a sense of identity for the family. Fathers pass on family traditions, values and opinions that will continue for generations.

One of the best sources of information on how to be a father is watching your friends, brothers and even strangers parent their children. Watch how they interact and develop strategies that are successful. Watching is good but talking is even better. Talk to fathers you admire. You may learn how they came to develop their own style of fathering.

There is a lot of “on the job” training in learning how to father. It is a lifelong learning experience. Always keep in mind you do not have to be perfect. In fact, letting your children know you may be wrong on occasion lets them know even their dad can make mistakes and it isn’t the end of the world.

As a child grows there will be times when their mother is the most important person in their life. There are also times when their father is who they need the most.

The Mayan Indians have a saying: the mother holds the baby close so that she knows she is safe, the father holds the baby up so she knows the world is hers.

As you raise your child remember these 10 things to help you be the best father you can possibly be: respect the child’s mother, spend time with your child, talk to your child, discipline with a gentle spirit, be a role model to your child and to other fathers, be a teacher to your child, eat together as a family, read to your child, show affection and last of all realize a father’s job is never done.

Katie Powers, R.N., is a board-certified lactation consultant and perinatal educator at Manatee Memorial Hospital’s Family BirthPlace. Her column appears every other week in Healthy Living in the Bradenton Herald. Contact her at katie.powers@mmhhs.com.

This story was originally published September 28, 2021 at 11:22 AM.