Baby Talk: Here’s how to recognize the difference between discipline and child abuse

Connie Shingledecker, a retired Major with the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office, has a mantra: You will never know the lives you have saved, only the ones you didn’t.

According to state child protective service agencies, more than 1 million children are victims of child abuse and neglect each year. We are all mandatory reporters of child abuse if we suspect a child is being abused rather than disciplined.

With April marking Child Abuse Awareness Month, how do you tell the difference between discipline, which every child needs, and abuse?

Discipline is defined as training to act in accordance to rules. It is a way of teaching that helps the child know for every action there is a consequence.

A child needs to know that when he or she does not follow the rules of the home, school or organization, there will be a consequence. A simple example is when a child repeatedly does not follow the dress code of the school, the child has detention.

Saying please and thank you has to be taught to a child. When it is taught over and over again, it becomes a habit. The discipline of teaching that habit to a child has lifelong rewards. Productive discipline prepares a child for a productive life.

Abuse is when discipline becomes punishment causing bodily and mental harm. It is meant to instill fear rather than trying to educate a child. It is demanding something of a child that is inappropriate for their age.

The child suffers bodily injuries: bruising, broken skin, swelling, broken bones or burns. Emotional abuse causes a child to become reclusive, live in fear and sometimes makes the child aggressive, which leads to abusing others.

Abuse rarely happens in a vacuum. Abuse is not silent. Abuse is visible. Abuse kills. It can kill a child outright. It can destroy a child’s ability to be a functional member of society. It is devastating not only to the child, but to our whole world.

In Florida, everyone is considered to be a mandatory reporter when it comes to abuse. The law states: Any person who knows or has reasonable cause to suspect that a child is abused, abandoned or neglected by a parent, legal custodian, caregiver or other person responsible for the child’s welfare shall report such knowledge or suspicion.

It is taken so seriously that a few years ago, it became a felony offense if someone was aware of abuse and did nothing about it.

We have had children die in Manatee County because of unreported abuse. In every case, people were interviewed after the child’s death and reported that they were suspicious but didn’t want to get involved.

If you are in any way suspicious that a child may be being abused, call (800) 96 ABUSE (800-962-2873). That is the number for the Florida Abuse Hotline. It accepts reports 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

If you feel a child is in imminent danger, call 911. Information of the person reporting abuse always remains confidential.

As Major Shingledecker says: You many never know the lives you have saved, only the one’s you don’t.

Katie Powers, R.N., is a board-certified lactation consultant and perinatal educator at Manatee Memorial Hospital’s Family BirthPlace. Her column appears every other week in Healthy Living in the Bradenton Herald. Contact her at katie.powers@mmhhs.com.