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Alex, Bonnie Colin aren’t welcome here

Flood insurance papers arrived in my mail not long ago.

After checking to see the mortgage bank got a copy, I figured I was good.

Then I received them again last Thursday.


That means one thing.

Hurricane season is around the corner.

Nine days to be exact.

So, with a bow of appreciation to readers’ contributions, here are some quirks that say “You must be a Floridian” as we get ready to endure the drama of the next six months:

n Relatives know better than to visit during summers anymore.

n Going from a 16-inch to a 20-inch chainsaw is your idea of upgrading.

n The need for the pooch to go outside and take care of its business is conversely relative to the severity of the storm.

n Nothing in the fridge? No problem.

n You’ve got the manager’s cellphone at Hope Lumber and 84 Lumber on speed dial. Ditto for Home Depot and Lowe’s.

n Those six large ice chests aren’t just for your annual July 4th bash.

n “Crackhouse Chic” is not a derogatory term.

n You know that Alex, Bonnie, Colin, Danielle, Earl and Fiona lead off the official names for this hurricane season.

n You couldn’t care less that Alex, Bonnie, Colin, Danielle, Earl and Fiona lead off the official names for this hurricane season.

n But having one named Igor makes you ask — where do they come up with these names?

n The Realtor refers to hallway closets as “cozy.”

n No matter how hard storm winds blow, campaign signs stay put.

n Washing machine as a cooler? That’ll work.

n Neighbors’ homes are boarded up, yours isn’t and you wonder if they know something you don’t.

n Three words: Cone of Death.

n A convoy of FPL trucks looks like the U.S. Cavalry showing up in a John Wayne movie.

n Then you have a meltdown as they keep going.

n Your homeowner’s insurance goes up $1,000, but you shrug and say, hey, at least I got some.

n The first website you look up every morning belongs to the National Hurricane Center.

n The letters AA don’t apply to the next level for our Single-A Bradenton Marauders.

Mannix About Manatee, by columnist Vin Mannix, is about people and issues in Manatee County. Please call Vin Mannix at 745-7055, write him at Bradenton Herald, P.O. Box 921, Bradenton, Fl. 34206 or e-mail him at Please include a phone number for verification purposes.