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It’s practically showtime as nuptials near

“Getting cold feet?”

I’ve heard that a few times lately.

My preference for Crocs and sandals isn’t why, prolonged chilly weather notwithstanding.

It’s the peel of wedding bells drawing closer.

Yours truly and Sherri Manring will be married Saturday.

Cold feet?

After a five-year courtship, it’s showtime.

I’m ready.

I think.

Marital experts like Dewey Eason and Jim Simpson have helped.

Thanks to them, I’ve come to understand the importance of repeating these key words:

“Yes, honey.”

“You’re right as usual, honey.”

“Of course, I heard everything you just said, honey.”

Then there’s money.

What’s mine is hers.

Mostly hers.

When we combined checking accounts recently, I got paid the old way one week by regular check.

I gave it to Sherri.

Quick hands?

Zip!

The check vanished.

Marrying a banker is a good thing.

We’ve already made several important decisions on investing wisely.

Like buying season tickets to the new FSL Bradenton Marauders.

OK. My idea.

Good investment, indeed.

Saturday’s nuptials will be untraditional.

When it comes time to exchange vows, Sherri will go first.

My idea.

Start our marriage off right.

I’m not stupid.

Judge Doug Henderson liked the idea, too.

He’ll marry us and we want to keep it light.

As we were going over the ceremony in his office at the new courthouse, Henderson talked about a tour he’d given a class of fifth-graders earlier that morning.

Naturally, the kids had lots of questions.

One of them was, what did the judge like most about his job?

“Marrying folks,” Henderson told them.

What did he like least?

“Giving life sentences.”

I couldn’t resist.

“Judge,” I said, “they’re the same thing, aren’t they?”

Sherri punched me.

Mannix About Manatee, by columnist Vin Mannix, is about people and issues in Manatee Count. Please call Vin Mannix at 745-7055, write him at Bradenton Herald, P.O. Box 921, Bradenton, FL 34206 or e-mail him at vmannix@bradenton.com. Please include a phone number for verification purposes.

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