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Google pigeons great at researching Web sites

As the Internet continues to grow, it seems to expand into the furthest reaches of cyberspace. Managing and organizing this vast amount of information would appear to be impossible, yet Google has found a solution to this dilemma with an economical, environmentally friendly method of internet management.

Since 2002, Google has employed gaggles of pigeons as Web site evaluation technicians. These specially trained individuals devote their days to pecking away at the keyboard in order to make our World Wide Web a friendly space.

See for yourself at pigeonrank.html.

With each Google search, information must be prioritized and delivered to the user at lightning speed. Google provides this amazing service through the tireless efforts of specially trained pigeons. The above-mentioned Web site goes into great detail concerning the establishment and support of this endeavor.

Google has trademarked this technology as PigeonRank. Pigeon Clusters or PCs rank the value of related Web pages for a user’s search criteria. Amazingly, Google purports that their pigeon force works faster than human trainees or “machine-based algorithms.”

By collecting flocks of pigeons in dense clusters, Google is able to process search queries at speeds superior to traditional search engines, which typically rely on birds of prey, brooding hens or slow-moving waterfowl to do their relevance rankings.

When a search query is submitted to Google, it is routed to a data coop where monitors flash result pages at blazing speeds. When a relevant result is observed by one of the pigeons in the cluster, it strikes a rubber-coated steel bar with its beak, which assigns the page a PigeonRank value of one. For each peck, the PigeonRank increases. Those pages receiving the most pecks are returned at the top of the user’s results page with the other results displayed in pecking order.

Google specifies that it does not use carrier pigeons or previously trained research pigeons. Pigeon-harvesting dogs or Phds are utilized to corral the birds, which are gathered in high numbers. After recruitment, pigeons reap the benefits of extensive professional training, free range of the assigned data coop and local window ledges, and specially designed break areas furnished with high quality seed and “the finest in European statuary for roosting.”

One caveat: Note that the trained pigeons are not savvy to the human concepts of time and date. For example, they would have no idea of the significance of a date.