The list of top sports cities in America, as judged by The Sporting News, begins on page 40 of TSN’s Oct. 12 issue. It’s not until you’ve flipped to page 43 that you come across Bradenton, “The Friendly City,” home of all things we love about spring training baseball, high school football, easy access to Tropicana Field, great golf courses, IMG and pristine beaches.
To get to Bradenton, you must pass Pittsburgh, ranked No. 1. Also, No. 25 New Orleans; No. 76 South Bend, Ind.; No. 134 DeKalb, Ill.; No. 239 Elon, N.C.; and No. 298 Sioux Falls, S.D.
Up next ... Bradenton.
We’re No. 299!
Take that Carlsbad, Calif. (300).
Eat our dust, Kissimmee (304).
What you got to say now, No. 396 Winooski, Va.?
Hey, we were once 315 in TSN’s annual rankings. Another time we were lumped in with Tampa-St. Pete. With the way things are going up at One Buc Place, I think I can speak for us all when I say we are more than happy to stand on our own this year.
But 299?
I mean, I thought we were a lock for the top 250.
Two-ninety-nine? How are we going to get into a good college with that kind of score?
There has to be a reason why Bradenton just cracked the top 300, and for that answer, I went right to the source, Bob Hille, the man in charge of TSN’s annual list.
Me: So, Bob, how do we get Bradenton into, say, the top 280?
Bob: You got to get the Pirates (62-99 in 2009) in gear.
Me: Ah, anything else we can do?
Bob: Bradenton made the list with spring training and the Gulf Coast League. That’s as high as you’re going to get until the Pirates start doing better.
Me: Seriously, anything else we can do?
Kind of makes you wonder how high Hille and his crew would rank Pittsburgh if the Pirates played their home games somewhere else. What’s higher than No. 1?
The major cities stand on their own. We smaller towns and burgs are judged by the success of local colleges and universities and the success of our minor league teams. Spring training towns are judged by the big league clubs that train there, which is why Florida State League stops like Port Charlotte (287) and Sarasota (291) are ranked ahead of us, though that doesn’t explain why Lakeland, home of the almost AL Central champion Detroit Tigers, is ranked 306.
You would think having McKechnie Field at the heart of the city’s sports-scape would push B-town a little higher up the list.
Me: Hey, Bob? Ever spend a sun-kissed afternoon at one of the best spring training stadiums anywhere?
Bob: I’ve spent some very happy days at McKechnie. It’s one of my favorite stadiums.
Me: And what? The Pirate Boosters were too friendly?
Bob: It’s the Pirates.
Hey, Pirates, thanks for not losing 100 games. We might find ourselves down with the bottom-feeders, like No. 392 Billings, Mont., and Auburn, N.Y., the birthplace of Abner Doubleday, which brings up the rear at 399.
Why only 399 cities? I never thought to ask.
Anyway, Hille said high school football, great golf courses and pristine beaches did not factor into our ranking. Not even the Eddie Herr Tournament, one of the top junior tennis tournaments in the world, could earn us a few points.
Bob: There’s no need to get mad.
Me: $%^&#%@#!
Hille said he enjoys the yearly flack from TSN readers and hacks like me.
“That’s kind of the point,” he said. “We’re the fire-starters, and we let other people pour gas on the fire.”
And until the Pirates get hot, or at least lukewarm, or at least win almost as many as they lose, we can expect to be in the bottom half of the yearly ranking.
Bob: Blame it on the Pirates.
Me: Did you catch the Southeast-Manatee game?
Roger Mooney, Herald sports writer, 745-7080, ext. 2112.
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