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Published: Monday, Jan. 05, 2009

Updated: Monday, Jan. 05, 2009

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Local nonprofit strives to make marriage work

- Special to the Herald
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BRADENTON — First comes love, then comes marriage, then, for many couples, comes divorce following the baby in the baby carriage.

That’s because the euphoria bolstering many young marriages — described as “the love cocktail” by some — can weaken over time, often when newlyweds have kids.

So a Bradenton nonprofit, Marriage Works, is offering classes and coaching so Manatee couples can improve, or even save, their marriages after that cocktail wanes, sours or runs out.

Marriage Works, described as a community marriage center by founder Don Power, features group and private programs, for anyone from longtime spouses to engaged couples as well as family wellness workshops.

The group is also planning a free, public-marriage-vow renewal and concert from 4 to 7 p.m. Valentine’s Day, complete with an Elvis impersonator adjacent to the Marriage Works building.

Both faith-based and secular classes, offered Tuesday and Thursday nights, cost $5, and private couples coaching costs $80 an hour, Power said. Couples who can’t pay won’t be turned away from Marriage Works’ programs, he said.

“We realized this is something that people need,” Power said.

He said he and his wife, Angie, were near divorce about six years ago, but saved their marriage with intensive relationship-skills classes — a move prompting them to seek ways to help other couples.

“We just relied on what we called the ‘love cocktail,’” he said, describing a two-year period of bliss before children and responsibility.

“We knew we loved each other, we just didn’t know how we were going to put all the pieces back together to make it work,” Angie Power said.

Now, the Powers started and are funding Marriage Works, which opened March 1, with $13,000 a month out of their own pockets.

Their goal: “To lower the divorce rates in Manatee and Sarasota counties through educational programs,” Don Power said.

Because, Power said, his and his wife’s experience suggested that education is key to improving matrimony, Marriage Works focuses on communication skills, and identifying what each partner wants to get out of the marriage.

Marriage Works, at 1007 Manatee Ave. E., also emphasizes the positives of marriage and family, Angie Power said, along with the value of commitment.

The classes, along with influencing the Powers’ pedagogy, also brought them in contact with Richard Marks, who holds a doctorate in psychology and counseling and serves as Marriage Works’ executive director.

Marriage Works does not have the same focus of traditional therapy, which he said is more remedial in nature.

“Therapy focuses on past issues. Couples don’t know how to do things differently,” he said. “If we can teach people how to do marriage, we have a better chance of how to do marriage.”

Also, Don Power said, the fact that he and his wife, along with several other couples, lead workshops, better conveys marriage-saving techniques than typical counseling, as it can lessen the stress some associate with seeking help from authority figures.

“A lot of people don’t like to go to their church or their pastors because they don’t want to share their dirty laundry,” Power said. “We clean it up.”

Also, he said, some are more receptive to getting tips from couples who’ve worked through situations such as adultery, whereas traditional counseling might lack this personal touch.

Robyn Spirtas, a Bradenton-based marriage and family therapist with a doctorate in counseling psychology, agrees that such personal connections can be helpful in therapy, but said they aren’t necessary for effective treatment.

“There’s millions of preachers, pastors, ministers and therapists that aren’t married. That doesn’t mean they can’t provide a service and can’t help you,” she said.

For Bradenton resident Kristen Ross and her husband, working with the Powers to help couples fit perfectly with a longtime interest – hosting marriage fellowships at home.

So when they found out about the Powers, she said, they wanted to get involved and help couples there, too.

“Our hearts for years since we’ve been married have been in helping marriage,” she said. “We just wanted to jump right on board.”

For more information on Marriage Works, visit marriageworksforyou.org or call (941) 827-0500.