Step right up, folks. Step right up.
You know that battle brewing over the City of Bradenton’s proposed ban of horses on the Palma Sola Causeway?
Well, we’ve got a product that will do the trick for all those horses’ behinds.
It’s called the Bun-Bag™.
Made in beautiful Sagle, Idaho, these horse diapers are smaller than most manure catchers, easy to attach and will do the dirty work necessary during fairs, parades, carnivals and circuses.
Bradenton City Council meetings, too.
The manure can get pretty deep in those august chambers.
It did last Wednesday.
That’s when Gene Gallo, the council’s elder statesman, stepped in it before climbing on his high horse about horses on the causeway being a public health issue.
Inspired by Gallo’s oration, three other city council members -- Vice Mayor Patrick Roff, Marianne Barnebey and Harold Byrd Jr. -- took up his banner and rushed headlong to save us from this potential plague, voting 4-1 to have the city attorney draw up an ordinance banning horses from the causeway.
Evidently, our esteemed council had no more pressing city business on its agenda.
All is well in the Friendly City.
Bemis Smith was the lone council member to vote against the measure.
He’s the only one who’s got a grip.
This is a non-issue.
Folks riding their horses in Palma Sola Bay, particularly the north side, is Bradenton.
It has been long before I ever got here more than 13 years ago.
I haven’t hung out along the so-called “Redneck Riviera” in some time, but while stuck in westbound weekend traffic, I’ve always marveled at riders on their magnificent horses wading through the water in twos or threes.
What a fun way to spend a day.
That the city council wants to put a stop to it is a farce.
What about the condoms, soiled diapers and syringes?
How about the doggy-doodoo dog owners can’t be bothered scooping up?
The proposed ban would certainly impact the Great World Adventures and its horse surfing, a money-maker and tourist hit.
Yet it’s our people I’m more concerned about -- horse lovers across the county who enjoy Palma Sola Bay and are conscientious about their horses and cleaning up afterward.
Instead of banning the whole shebang, just divvy it up.
Designate the bay’s south side for people only and keep the north side for horses and dogs and their owners.
It’s a vastly smaller body of water with poor flow that has always been stagnant.
That’s never going to change, horse surfing or not.
It is what it is.
In the meantime, folks, step right up and check out the Bun-Bag™ straight from beautiful Sagle, Idaho.
It will take care of all those horses’ behinds, guaranteed.
Operators are standing by.
Mannix About Manatee, by columnist Vin Mannix, is about people and issues in Manatee County. Please call Vin Mannix at 745-7055, write him at Bradenton Herald, P.O. Box 921, Bradenton, FL 34206 or e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include a phone number for verification purposes.