Flood insurance papers arrived in my mail not long ago.
After checking to see the mortgage bank got a copy, I figured I was good.
Then I received them again last Thursday.
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That means one thing.
Hurricane season is around the corner.
Nine days to be exact.
So, with a bow of appreciation to readers’ contributions, here are some quirks that say “You must be a Floridian” as we get ready to endure the drama of the next six months:
n Relatives know better than to visit during summers anymore.
n Going from a 16-inch to a 20-inch chainsaw is your idea of upgrading.
n The need for the pooch to go outside and take care of its business is conversely relative to the severity of the storm.
n Nothing in the fridge? No problem.
n You’ve got the manager’s cellphone at Hope Lumber and 84 Lumber on speed dial. Ditto for Home Depot and Lowe’s.
n Those six large ice chests aren’t just for your annual July 4th bash.
n “Crackhouse Chic” is not a derogatory term.
n You know that Alex, Bonnie, Colin, Danielle, Earl and Fiona lead off the official names for this hurricane season.
n You couldn’t care less that Alex, Bonnie, Colin, Danielle, Earl and Fiona lead off the official names for this hurricane season.
n But having one named Igor makes you ask — where do they come up with these names?
n The Realtor refers to hallway closets as “cozy.”
n No matter how hard storm winds blow, campaign signs stay put.
n Washing machine as a cooler? That’ll work.
n Neighbors’ homes are boarded up, yours isn’t and you wonder if they know something you don’t.
n Three words: Cone of Death.
n A convoy of FPL trucks looks like the U.S. Cavalry showing up in a John Wayne movie.
n Then you have a meltdown as they keep going.
n Your homeowner’s insurance goes up $1,000, but you shrug and say, hey, at least I got some.
n The first website you look up every morning belongs to the National Hurricane Center.
n The letters AA don’t apply to the next level for our Single-A Bradenton Marauders.
Mannix About Manatee, by columnist Vin Mannix, is about people and issues in Manatee County. Please call Vin Mannix at 745-7055, write him at Bradenton Herald, P.O. Box 921, Bradenton, Fl. 34206 or e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include a phone number for verification purposes.