Mannix About Manatee: Game better be more compelling than $4 million Super Bowl ads

February 2, 2014 

More than 111 million Americans are expected to watch the Super Bowl Sunday night, but half probably couldn't care less about the game.

Huh?

That's right.

They're more interested in the Super Bowl's commercials.

According to the Nielsen ratings, 51 percent of people surveyed after last year's game watched it solely for that reason.

If the pattern repeats itself, advertisers are counting on getting a bang for their buck.

Biiiiig bucks.

Guess how much Fox is charging for a 30-second spot?

Try $4 million!

There better be some good commercials for that price.

There were enough bad ones out there the past football season.

Like that Old Spice ad, "Smellcome to Manhood," with moms popping out of the sand, falling from the sky and slithering out from under the couch cushions?

Weird, man.

When those kind of commercials come on, I hit the remote mute button immediately.

In that spirit, I've compiled a list of such ads and think you'll agree on some of them:

• Will Ferrell's "Ron Burgundy" Dodge commercials. Ferrell is not funny.

• That annoying, smug "Mayhem" crashing, wrecking, breaking and burning things in Allstate ads. Hate it.

• "Flo" in those Progressive commercials. Flo and her shtick got old long ago.

• Those two dopes in the Sonic ads.

• The Bud Light commercial where several Patriots fans are watching the game at this guy's apartment as he goes on about his love/hate relationship with one pal whose moronic antics, shaking his butt and waving his arms in front of the TV, supposedly bring the team good luck. Ugh.

• "What's better? Bigger or smaller?" The AT&T ad with the guy sitting down with a handful of 6-year-olds was cute the first hundred times. Enough.

• That State Farm commercial with a wooden Aaron Rodgers and the doofus Bear fans. Dooouuuble check that!

• The Sprint ad with James Earl Jones and Malcolm McDowell that

makes the two storied actors look awkward and foolish.

• The commercial where the guy opens his refrigerator door and there's actor Ken Jeong, who cries out, "IT'S MILLER TIME!" The guy should just grab the beer and slam the door.

• That obnoxious T-Mobile ad where agitated parents are forced to sell their son's car to some shlub -- "Sweet ride, Jeremy!" -- to pay off his overseas cellphone bills.

• The Tostitos commercial where the smarmy couple barges into a party going on at an apartment and digs into the chips and dip thinking it's a restaurant. Yuck.

• That silly Nissan Rogue ad where the driver steers the car up a bridge abutment and flies onto the top of a moving train to make their destination on time. It must run 19 times every hour.

• The irritating Verizon "I Want It Now" commercial with the guy morphing into a rock star. Right.

• The AT&T "No Catch" ad where the guy engages the woman in an involved sales dialogue in the store, then abruptly says, "Obviously, I'm getting nowhere with you. I'm going to need to speak with a supervisor." She says, "I am the supervisor." He says, 'Oh, finally, someone I can talk to." They shake hands. Stuuuuupid.

There will always be more where these commercials came from, too.

Like Sunday night.

Vin's People, is by local columnist Vin Mannix. He can be reached at 941-745-7055. Twitter: @vinmannix

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