I am issuing an Amber Alert!
It seems our beloved country America is missing. She was last seen being taken in 2008 by an controlling man in the White House. I don't know if she was forcibly taken or she went willingly.
It seems the people that were supposed to take care of her were constantly arguing and calling each other horrible names. She was very frightened and tried to hide sometimes.
Our missing America was born in 1776. She has many beautiful and amazing parks and memorials in her many states. Some of her favorite things are flags and eagles. Her favorite colors are red, white and blue. Her favorite songs are "God Bless America" and "America The Beautiful."
He (the controlling man) will not let her say her prayers if the word God is in it. Some of her favorite people are the folks who lived, fought and died to preserve her honor and freedom.
I know there are some reporters looking for her, too, and asking the man in the White House questions, but they don't ask the right ones because they don't want him to get angry.
This man wants to give her medicine she does not want, so in retaliation he closed down all the parks and memorials to punish her keepers. This man has gotten many accolades and even a Nobel Prize, but she doesn't understand why or what for.
So let's put up the billboards, milk cartons and cereal boxes to help find our beloved America. So in closing, I'm asking all America's keepers to be vigilant and say a silent prayer for her long awaited return.
Signed, a very worried vigil keeper.