The big game in the Big Easy.
Baltimore Ravens vs. San Francisco 49ers.
Super Bowl XLVII.
Or, for those not fluent in Roman numerals, Super Bowl 47.
About 75,000 rich, famous and extremely lucky people have tickets to watch the title game at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans.
The rest of us will be viewing the spectacle on TV, probably taking part in that great American tradition known as the Super Bowl party.
Here are some do's and dont's to help you enjoy the experience without terribly offending the host.
Do your homework: Ray Lewis, linebacker for the Ravens, is in the spotlight again, this time for allegedly using the banned substance "deer antler velvet spray." As for the 49ers, Randy Moss says he's the greatest wide receiver EVER. And don't confuse the Harbaugh brothers. Jim coaches San Francisco. Big brother John Harbaugh coaches Baltimore. See, a lot easier than following the plot of "Les Mis."
Don't hog the Buffalo chicken dip: Have you had this culinary creation that's sweeping the football-viewing party scene? Of course you have! It's amazing. And highly addictive. To such a degree that once you start noshing it will be difficult to stop. Please, leave some for the women and children. And don't double dip!
Do bring a dish and beverages: Even if the host adamantly tells you not to bother, at the very least show up with a large bag of brand-name chips and a 12-pack of respectable beer. That means no Natty Light!
Don't be that guy: You have on your No. 20 jersey and Ed Reed intercepts a pass in the red zone. Don't point in the face of the nice fellow wearing San Francisco colors and tell him to "Take that!" Especially if you're watching the action on his flat-screen.
Do be courteous: At some point, an excitable
football fanatic will corner you and start rambling on about various offensive and defensive strategies like the inebriated ghost of Howard Cosell. Smile and nod. Eventually he'll shut up and walk away and you can enjoy the game in peace. Unless he's your husband.
Don't forget to watch Beyonce: Is the halftime show headliner really singing this time or lip-syncing like she did last month? Judging by the post-inauguration coverage, this could be bigger news than the actual game.
Do offer to help clean: Whether you're leaving after the second quarter or staying for the post-game interviews, ask if there's anything you can do. It will earn you points with the hosts and chances are, the kind couple will tell you not to worry about it anyway.
Don't even think about calling in sick Monday: Buffalo chicken dip is far too delicious to cause sickness even in massive quantities. Consuming a case of beer, on the other hand, will make you ill the next morning. Still, you must soldier on. Having a hangover at the office Monday is all part of the Super Bowl party fun!
Wade Tatangelo, features writer, can be reached at 745-7057.