He better play the most awesome, spine-tingling, soul-stirring, jaw-dropping version EVER of "Yellow Ledbetter."
And cover "Masters of War."
Those were my first thoughts when I learned Eddie Vedder was performing at a $20,000-a-person house party in South Tampa.
To be specific, it was a fundraiser attended by President Obama.
A reliable source told me who held the private shindig and where.
As a former South Tampa resident, I know the location. But I have only read about the host.
So even if I had $20,000 (ha, ha) to spend on a night of entertainment (ha, ha, ha, ha), it's doubtful an invite would have come my way.
But maybe I could have walked through the neighborhood and heard some of Vedder's unmistakable vocals emanating from the backyard party tent.
That would have been cool.
Until the Secret Service shooed me away -- or worse.
I've witnessed Vedder perform twice with his rock band Pearl Jam at what's now called the Tampa Bay Times Forum.
Both shows rank pretty high on my all-time list of favorite concerts.
So, yeah, I would've loved to have been one of the about 50 people who were at the Obama/Vedder bash.
It would have been a little, strange, though.
I shook Obama's hand, once, after he spoke at the Cuban Club in Ybor City in April of 2007.
I told him he really impressed me that day with his talk.
But I don't know what I would've said to Obama on Thursday.
Maybe something about him singing "Sweet Home Chicago" with blues greats Buddy Guy and B.B. King.
Or asked him about the White House's home-brewed beer.
Unlike with Obama, I've never met or even been closer than about 20 hockey-arena rows to Vedder.
What would have I said to him on Thursday?
"Any chance of ya getting back up there, staring right at the president, and doing a dark, angry 'Masters of War'?"
Which would've probably got me shooed away -- or worse -- by the Secret Service.
Yeah, it's probably a good thing I don't have the means to attend $20,000-a-person house parties with rock stars and world leaders.
Wade Tatangelo, features writer and columnist, can be reached at 941-745-7057. Follow him on Twitter @wtatangelo