BRADENTON -- Nine months ago, Roberto Ibarra waved goodbye to his wife and three children as he headed to the Manatee courthouse to deal with a traffic fine.

He was supposed to be in and out in just a few hours.

But when Ibarra walked into the courthouse lobby May 17, he was arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials and deported to Mexico City, the hometown he hadn’t seen in 10 years.

In Bradenton, his wife, Maribel, had to make a life-altering decision that many immigrant families face: Stay in the United States for a better future for her children -- including two born in this country -- but remain a divided family; or move to a problem-plagued country to keep the family together.

She chose to leave.

Local, national and Mexican immigration advocates say the Ibarras’ story is replaying itself across the United States. There are 4.5 million U.S. citizen children who have an undocumented parent, according to First Focus, a national children and families advocate group.

But there is hope that noncriminal parents such as Ibarra will have choices other than deportation.

In June, ICE director John Morton issued a memo that set guidelines for deportations of undocumented immigrants that focuses on criminal aliens. The agency is looking for aliens who have arrest records, prior convictions and are a threat to public safety, according to the memo.

The true scope of how many people are affected is unknown because ICE does not track removal numbers of noncriminal immigrant parents. And in the county, the Manatee County School District doesn’t keep records of the number of children with undocumented parents.

“We’re talking about decent families, hard-working families whose kids are excelling in school,” said Luz Corcuera, program director of the Healthy Start Coalition of Manatee County and local immigration advocate. “We are not talking about criminals.”

A family torn apart

On April 8, Bradenton police stopped Roberto Ibarra for running a stop sign. He was arrested for driving without a valid license and spent a weekend in the Manatee County jail. On April 11, he posted $120 bond, court records show.

In May, he was at the courthouse to pay the fine.

A family friend dropped him off. But Maribel sensed something was wrong, she said. She returned to the courthouse and her friend went in to ask for Roberto.

“She came out and told me, ‘Don’t be scared, but they told me Immigration took Roberto,’” Maribel said.

She burst into tears. Maribel called Corcuera, who put her in contact with immigration lawyers.

But it was too late: Roberto had a deportation order. About two days later, he was put on a plane in Miami that would take him to Mexico City. Maribel and their children didn’t get a chance to see Roberto before he was deported.

“It was so hard,” Roberto said, speaking via telephone from Mexico City. “I was in there thinking that I didn’t know what was going to happen to my family.”

After her husband was deported, Maribel picked up his maintenance job to make ends meet.

Their two youngest kids, Angie, 9, and Angel, 2, were born in the United States. Her eldest, Roberto Jr., was 2 years old when his parents moved to Bradenton.

She sat with their children and asked what they wanted: Stay in the country they knew or go to Mexico to be with Dad?

They chose Dad.

But the money she made cleaning gymnasiums wasn’t enough to buy plane tickets for the whole family. Corcuera and others helped pay for their airfare.

Corcuera said having a deported parent is “very traumatic on the children.”

Angie told her mom she hated the United States after her father was deported. She used to keep an American flag near her bed. But when her dad was gone, Angie took it down.

“I don’t like my flag,” she told Maribel. “I won’t like it until it likes my dad.”

Tough adjustment

On Aug. 28, the family moved to Mexico City. At the Mexico City International Airport, Roberto waited for his family.

“I was looking around at all the people to see if I saw my wife and kids,” he recalls.

As they waited in line at customs, a pair of electric doors opened and closed. That’s when Angie spotted her dad. She cried and bit her nails. Maribel’s youngest squealed, “Mami! Mami! There’s Daddy.”

When the family walked through the doors, they collided in an embrace.

“It was a reunion we won’t ever forget,” Maribel said.

But the drastic turn their lives had taken soon kicked in.

The family moved in with Roberto’s parents, where Angie and her older brother share a room.

Maribel and Roberto can’t find jobs. Jobs in Mexico come easier with recommendations from previous employers. And after years of working outside the country, it’s hard to get one.

Maribel recently began selling homemade desserts on the street while Roberto spends hours every day looking for work.

“Parents who are being deported suddenly have to figure out a job situation, housing,” said Wendy Cervantes, vice president of Immigration and Child Rights Policy for First Focus in Washington, D.C.

First Focus works with the Coalition for the Defense of the Migrant, in Baja California, Mexico, which helps repatriated emigrants adapt to their original country, Cervantes said.

Esmeralda Siu Marquez, the coalition’s coordinator, said it’s quite common to see immigrant families with U.S.-born children in their shelters. Through the coalition, Baja California’s department of education provides children with programs to help them adapt to their new culture and classes.

“Being American citizens, they have to insert themselves in Mexican society,” Marquez said.

Cervantes said the children are “dealing with integration into a culture that they don’t know at all,” adding that they often suffer an “impact on their academic development.”

Roberto Ibarra said his kids’ grades plummeted when they first moved to Mexico City.

The children struggled to adapt to their new Spanish-speaking schools. Although both are bilingual, their main language is English.

“In Florida, I have a lot of friends, and in Mexico, I don’t have a lot of friends,” Angie said.

Setting priorities

ICE has begun prioritizing its efforts on criminal aliens based on a list of factors. Among them: family ties, U.S.-born children and criminal history.

“We hear a few stories of it (the memo) actually working,” Cervantes said. “Usually, that’s after a lot of media attention and work on behalf of advocates.”

Corcuera said she is noticing a decline in the number of noncriminal, family-oriented immigrants who are deported. Immigration lawyer Ramon Carrion said ICE is “giving it some credence.”

Danielle Bennett, an ICE spokeswoman, said the agency reviews each undocumented immigrant on a “case-by-case basis.” “This administration is doing more than any previous administration to prioritize resources on criminal aliens,” Bennett said.

Every case is unique

Some parents aren’t deported; they leave voluntarily.

That’s what happened to 12-year-old Yulisa Estrada’s mother. Her father is a legal resident, but her mom and three siblings are undocumented.

Yulisa’s mom moved back to the city of Leon in the state of Guanajuato, Mexico, in August 2010. Her father, who lives in Bradenton, filed a petition for his family to return to the United States. But the process can take two to five years, said their immigration lawyer, John Ovink. “That is extremely tough on these kids,” he said.

Yulisa, who is an American citizen, moved with her mom. For one year, she went to an English-speaking private school.

Although her classes were taught in English, Yulisa said the teachers weren’t entirely fluent.

“It’s kind of hard not to talk back to the teacher when they’re making a mistake,” she said.

So Yulisa struggled with the language, she said. The school was also an hour away from her house. She took the bus home by herself every day.

“It was kind of worrisome since you don’t know what people are like,” Yulisa said.

She returned to Bradenton the following school year and is now a seventh-grader at Johnson Middle School. She lives with her father and older stepsister. Her mother and two other siblings stayed behind in Mexico.

In his role as immigration lawyer, Carrion said it is a “growing problem” that U.S.-born children are forced to move to foreign countries or are separated from their parents.

“It’s a problem that will have long-term consequences as these kids grow and get older,” he said. “Hopefully, the government sees what’s happening.”

In Mexico City, Maribel Ibarra admits she sometimes doubts her decisions.

“I’m not sure if it was a mistake to come here,” she said. But when she thinks of her husband and children, her doubts vanish.

“We’re together,” she said. “But here, life is very difficult.”

Laura C. Morel, crime/immigration reporter, can be reached at 941-745-7041.